If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
