I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
