you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
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