That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
