so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize