As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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