I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
