I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize