If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
either way he was missing a nipple.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
