Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
no you cant smoke seaweed
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
