The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize