when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Randomize
