If that was your dad, he is hot
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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