Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
I did not marry a roomba.
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