She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Duck Duck Cougar?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize