I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
You are a genius and a whore.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
