DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
