She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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