So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
