I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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