just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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