You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
