i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
