There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
