Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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