with your own penis?
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Randomize
