Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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