I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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