can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize