I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Sorry my hands just texted you
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
