you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
