And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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