All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
