Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Randomize