he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
