I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
