there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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