found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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