I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
