Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
