wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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