I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
