so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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