It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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