you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
