all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
