I skipped work to stalk him.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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