I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
