i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
