3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
i now understand why vodka
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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