So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
