The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Randomize
