so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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