that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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