Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Who died my cat blue again?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
