Soap is not a condiment
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm determined to sit on that face.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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