Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
