you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Randomize
