Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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