is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
