The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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