I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
