We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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