I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
