mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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