You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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